Invisible Means Invisible

Part 2

In the past four or five years I’ve begun to transition into perimenopause. My anxiety began to increase. Panic attacks became a new and not so fun thing. My headaches became increasingly migraine like. I fell into times of exhaustion where just getting out of bed was a struggle. I used to be a nightowl - now an early bedtime and sleeping for 13 or 14 hours could easily be my norm. The concept of feeling wide awake or having energy is rare. 

Worst of all, I began losing my memory. At first it was only in times of stress and was so spotty it seemed perfectly normal. But gradually it worsened. Over the past 5 years it’s become increasingly serious - and scary - to a point of sometimes being debilitating. At my worst I can’t copy information correctly to a calendar or correctly take accurate notes. With 5 kids and a business to run, I began to make increasingly serious mistakes. The anxiety of wondering what the next mistake I would make snowballed as the stress and terror of messing up began to impact daily life. To make it worse, what do you say? If someone is late and has a broken leg, you give them grace because you see why they were late. "Oh, crutches and 5 flights of stairs and the elevator was out? Gotcha! Way to go getting here!" "You forgot? Seriously...? How stupid/selfish are you? How could a mistake like this happen? Why didn't you just call/write it down/speak to me directly?" I can also feel my brain. Dead serious. On particulary bad days, I can feel it. It feels heavy and frozen - like it's trying to work and can't. After a particularly serious one that gives me nausea to this day to think about, I got serious about my health and treating the specific symptoms. 

After visiting my doctor with a list of new symptoms, I was diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency. While I saw no change at first, after some research I added Vit K and a high quality fish oil to help absorption and saw a few symptoms improve. I transitioned to a keto diet to help brain issues shortly after and saw a stabilization in my memory symptoms and a reduction in inflammation. I'll also be tracking my macros a little more faithfully over the next few months and look at upping what I need to to specifically target the neuro side that keto can help with.

I love to research and believe that food and health are very closely linked - I've obviously seen that firsthand both in myself and my family, and, negatively, in others. I'm also fairly conservative and won't add just anything to my regimen unless I've researched and seen that it's safe and that has some level of proof that it does what it says. If I add something and don't see results after several months, I take it out. Currently Vit D, Vit K, a high quality fish oil rotated with Evening Primrose Oil through my cycle, Vit C, L-Arginine and It Works New You (a blend that is supposed to help your body produce HGH), along with a high quality probiotic, magnesium and cream of tartar (potassium - helps with swelling) are all I take. Each of them I have taken and thought I saw a result, cut them out and saw symptoms increase and added them back in and saw the same results. I've tried everything out there at some point - to the point where I just smile and nod when some recommends something. Oils of every type? Been there, did nothing. Held my breath and turned to the east with one eye closed? Ditto. Snake oil? Yep. (Please, PLEASE read that with an appropriate sense of sarcasm!)

After keeping a running list of daily symptoms, I could see an increasing link between my allergies (particularly my environmental allergies), stress and hormones. Spring and summer - particularly May to July with teaching and school wrapping up and summer activities for 5 kids, along with everything starting to grow - are my worst months. At this point, I haven't worked out for about 4 or 5 months - I've always kept active and worked out on a daily basis, but through the last few months my energy levels have been so sporadic and poor that getting through teaching PE and coaching soccer is all I could handle.

My “good days” starting becoming farther between - by the time I visited the doctor again, I was down to one “good” week a month. The rest of the month I spent dragging myself in exhaustion, terrified I was forgetting something and able to sleep at the drop of a pin. Exhausted and moody is really not how I want to parent (or live). This time I had a more extensive list for the doctor (and orders to tell her my husband says these symptoms are serious...) and she tied them together and diagnosed me with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphorbic Disorder - PMS's bigger, meaner, sister. Essentially it means I am sensitive/allergic to multiple foods, plants, molds...and now my own hormones. It'd be funny if it wasn't so annoying). I was put on an antidepressant to essentially speed my body up. I've seen fairly good results - I don't know if I'd say the memory issues have improved, I have a more normal (though not perfect) amount of energy and my mood has stabilized enough that I would consider it successful. My longterm goal, obviously is to stabilize my body enough to go completely off of the prescription. 

Most people are shocked (and few people know til now) that I am on meds. "You never seemed sick", "You always have so much energy and do so much", "You never looked like you struggled"..and all the people who "get it" nod along.  

I started QEST sessions in the last few months. QEST is a form of energy healing - essentially manipulating the body to use it's own energy to find and target issues. I would describe sessions as a cross between a light massage and accupressure. I've been interested that my practitioner has found areas I haven't told her about in advance (and some I did) - including issues like ovarian cysts (I've always had symptoms but never been diagnosed), concussions (um, I'm sure...LOL), gut issues, circulation, etc as well as emotional issues such as anxiety. She also felt my skull on a bad brain day when I said I could feel my brain and said it felt like there was swelling. After paying attention and keeping track of it, I would say she's absolutely right - on bad brain days I have warm swelling on my head where I "feel" my brain. The two "interesting" side effects have been goosebumps during sessions when she pressures certain points and a rush of energy after sessions. My assumption is that, at the very least the sessions are giving me focused time to relax and relieve stress and, at the most, could be relieving some symptoms and helping my body heal. If you're in NE Wyoming, I'd encourage you to give it a shot. Remember that for anything natural, it takes the body approx 6 weeks to experience cell regrowth, so ANYTHING natural needs to have a little patience connected with it. 

https://www.facebook.com/wyoenergyhealing

I also recently started HGH treatment. I was very interested when I found out the FDA recently approved a homeopathic HGH gel. Traditionally HGH shows promise to treat a multitude of issues as our bodies age. It also is normally prescribed through a doctor and has the cost you'd expect. While the gel isn't cheap, since the one supplement I found that did give me some results had to do with HGH production, the idea of adding HGH is obviously one I would pursue. I started 2 rotations ago (I'll explain that later) and, very skeptically, maybe, possibly see results? I wasn't expecting any results for 3 months (where many of my symptoms land on the "how long it may take" list). This blog is for the purpose of keeping track of those 3 months. Sometimes symptoms ease off and it's hard to notice if it's a direct result or just happenstance. I need somewhere to keep track of how it's going and if I am seeing any difference - and 3 months is a long time for me to remember! hahahaha I also assume that there is someone else in a desperate place like I am. A 3 month commitment and $150 a month? Hey, reduce my symptoms by 50%...heck, 25%...10% and I'm there. So, if you're interested, I'll be the test subject and spend the cash and see what happens. In 3 months I'll make a decision - is it worth it? Do I continue? What symptoms are improving? Are new symptoms popping up? You get the idea...skepticism at it's best. Feel free to follow along!

These are some of the symptoms of having low HGH levels that I found - I have 10-12 of them to varying degrees.

• Anxiety and/or depression
• Baldness (in men)
• Decrease in sexual function and interest
• Decreased muscle mass and strength
• Difficult to concentration and lack of memory
• Dry, thin skin
• Elevated triglyceride levels
• Fatigue and/or tiredness
• Heart problems
• High levels of LDL (the "bad") cholesterol
• Insulin resistance
• Lower tolerance to exercise
• Reduced bone density, making you more susceptible to developing osteoporosis
• Sensitivity to heat and cold
• Very low energy levels
• Weight gain, especially around the waist